Year Published: 2005
Have you ever read the Old Testament and thought to yourself, "Goodness, that God character is one homicidal, psychotic jerk"? Then this is the book for you.
In a passage typical of the book, a man who's being "stalked" by God is consulting his therapist for assistance.
Most stalkers, explained Dr. Herschberg, are lonely, isolated members of society, seeking intimacy or friendship. The stalking is simply a partial satisfaction of their voyeuristic, sadistic tendencies.
"That sounds like Him."
"You need to stop responding," said Dr. Herschberg.
"That's what my wife said," replied Schwartzman. "He's not easy to ignore."
"Are you afraid he might become violent?"
"If history's any indication."
The whole book is filled with similar indictments of the Jewish God (Auslander was raised Orthodox, and all his characters are Jews, some religious, some otherwise), executed with brilliant black humor. In pieces where God is actually present, He is universally depicted as a world-weary, out-of-touch braggart with little mercy and no answers.
You might think this would make for a terribly depressing read, and for the most part, you'd be correct. Interestingly, though, the truly difficult stories in the book are the ones in which God is not a character. There are a few allegories, which are obvious almost at the level of political cartoons with labels, but they manage to work anyway: two hampsters, one who believes their owner will return, the other a doubter, debate; the characters of Peanuts divide themselves into inventive religious factions; a man makes a golem and realizes he has no idea how to treat his autonomous creation.
However, the story that is saddest and perhaps most telling of Auslander's obvious distaste for certain aspects, at least, of religious Jewish culture is entitled "Holocaust Tips for Kids." It is long -- for Auslander, at least, whose stories tend to fall short of the 20-page mark -- and written in the unmistakable voice of a child. The child in question, never named, is a young boy, perhaps nine or so, who has been taught things about the Holocaust and religion that (the reader begins to think) should have been saved for later years.
Kevin calls my yarmulke a beanie. I am Beanie Boy.
If Kevin becomes a Nazi, the first place he'll tell the SS to look for me and Deena is in his attic. But we'll be in Florida.
Anne Frank was murdered in Bergen-Belsen after someone reported the family to the Nazis, so really -- don't tell anyone where you are going.
They're not really showers.
They'll probably make New York City into a ghetto, like the Warsaw Ghetto. If you live in a big city where there are Jews and one day there's a Holocaust, you should leave right away.
This line of thinking is, unfortunately, pretty familiar to any Jewish kid exposed to the facts of the Holocaust at an early age. But what differentiates this story from the typical Jewish kid's musing on that subject are the voices of his mother and rabbi, who tell him, respectively, "[Kevin's] mother is a no-good anti-Semite" and "the Holocaust happened because the Jews assimilated" (among other things). Beyond the terror of imagining that the Holocaust could happen in modern-day America, the child is made to doubt and fear the non-Jews around him, and to believe that his religion is less about joy and faith, and more about guilt and punishment. Auslander skewers this attitude, not only in this story, but throughout the collection.
Recommended? This might be a for-Jews-only read. Hey, Christians can have Left Behind; we can have our own unique brand of dark satire.
1 comment:
Come on, I love these stories as the half-assed Christian that I am.
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